Ballad Of Paul And Sheila

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the plane crash that took the live of Paul Wellstone, his wife Shelia, daughter Marcia and five members of his campaign staff while campaigning for re-election for his third term in the U.S. Senate. Wellstone affiliated with the Democratic Farmer Labor Party.

Wellstone believed that politics cannot be about money and power games but about the improvement of people's lives. In an open later on the anniversary of his death, Former Republican Jim Ramstad says:

We miss your passion to help people who are hurting. People suffering the ravages of mental illness, addiction, homelessness and hunger. We miss our champion for veterans, seniors, abused women and children. Most of all, we miss the authentic person you were. You never took yourself too seriously, but you took the causes you championed very seriously.

As I sit in the fearful anticipation of what is to come, may I continue to wonder, dream and act for those most vulnerable, while continuing the legacy of Paul Wellstone, because "If we don't fight hard enough for the things we stand for, at some point we have to recognize that we don't really stand for them."

Parenthood

When I started watching Parenthood during the end of their first season, I had no idea how much the show would continue to grow and challenge its viewers. As the true humanity of each character is exposed to its viewers, I am drawn more and more into the life of the Braverman's. I think deeply about themes of community, disappear and the role of God as they live into issues of adoption, Asperger's, drug and alcohol abuse, emerging adulthood and reality of being human in a postmodern world.

One of the greatest gifts of the show is a resource called, "The Experts Speak." A group of professionals works through what we can learn from each episode, especially in relationship to Max's Asperger's syndrome. After I remove the tears from eyes after almost every episode, I turn to the Experts Speak in order to go a little deeper. For example, in Season 2, Max is preparing for his cousin, Jabbar's visit. He knows the exact time that Jabbar is going to arrive, but when things do not go as planned, he reacts differently. The expert's share:

So we begin to see the world through Max's eyes - he's a concrete, literal thinker and fully expects events to occur when they're supposed to. He can be quite comfortable when events flow as scheduled, but he can't understand the reasons why people change the set schedules. The ability to accept change requires a sophisticated understanding of social relationships, and why people act the way they do. This is at the core of social impairment in individuals with Asperger's syndrome. 

If you are looking for conversation during Parenthood, feel free to join me and a small group of friends on Twitter (@sandykathleen).

The Power of Play

I stood in the Narthex at Calvary Lutheran Church. I had not been there for worship that morning, but drove over after having a conversation with a group of emerging adults in St. Paul on the recent report on the rise of nones from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life. As I stood there, I looked around to see who was present this morning. 

I quickly spotted a small cafe size table where five-year-old Jacob was sitting. He sat at this table by himself, but there was some empty cups and used napkins making it clear that earlier he was not alone. It was then decided that he would be the victim of my attention for the duration of coffee hour, although I was aware that he would be perfectly content without my engagement.

I found a seat, brushed off some crumbs and took a seat. In front of Jacob was some goldfish crackers, a small pack of Gobstopper candy and half-empty glass of lemonade. I then began my attempts to engage five-year-old Jacob in conversation. I said, ‘Hi’ and he looked at me. I asked ‘How is school ?’, he again looked at me. I asked, ‘Are your brothers here this morning?’ he looked at me again. 

Jacob was no stranger to me nor was I stranger to him. Just last week I sat with him as he worked on his mosaic cross during education hour. I knew I needed to make a leap in our encounter, so I did.

I then asked, ‘Jacob, tell me about his snack.” And off he went. 

It was clear that I had interrupted his play when I sat down with him at that small cafe table. Instantly the story of momma fishes, baby fishes and fish food came alive. Before long the seat cushion became the belly of the big momma fish. And one by one, the sneaky momma fish would eat a piece of food and leave less and less available on the table. 

I was clueless. ‘Jacob’, I said, ‘where has all the fish food gone?’ He giggled and looked at me with suspicion, followed by another spurt of laughter. Before long we dreamed of all the places the fish food had gone. Maybe they had rolled down the small slope in the sanctuary and could now be found under the alter or maybe the fish food was hiding under Pastor Brad’s foot.

Jacob, like so many children I meet, have challenged me to ask the following question -- What is the role of play in the life of a child?

As I paid Children, Youth and Family minister within the church, I have always felt that it is my job to create the program for young people. Our programming must be filled with structure. This can easily be seen in Sunday School classrooms. Even if we leave the space to create or imagine, we very rarely leave room to play. My question is, how do we as the church leave room for play? 

Of, course, I do not have all the answers at this time, yet the role of play continues to be part of my wonderings. Maybe my role is not to create the structure but lead people in the understanding of what it means to engage a child in play. Or maybe my role is to create the space for play. I am not sure, but I have this hunch, a really big hunch, that as the church we must begin to create more space for play. I also have a hunch that this space for play must be created for all ages, not just children.

Field Report - Fergus Falls

If you have not spent some time listening to Field Report, please do, immediately. It is just today that I discovered that they had a song entitled, 'Fergus Falls.' I lived in Fergus Falls past college graduation and sometime in South Florida. Ten years from now I will probably be telling the story of how "my wings iced up in the fall as it gets colder."

This is the one in which I miraculously pulled out of a freefall dive over Fergus Falls, Minnesota This is the one like ten years ago I told you about where my wings iced up in the fall as it gets colder. 

I was concealing his kid under his crewneck state school sweatshirt while he grinned off in the distance behind prescription shades that were blocking out the clouded out sun while he as hoping against a daughter and no one saw my banners, my bruises, my flares, my flags. 

I could have been an artist if I had the tools I could have been a preacher if I suffered fools When we move into the city I know I will have to pay my dues and my respects to his sister and his mother too.

What we don't know about the Voter ID Amendment

Minnesota Public Radio clues us in on what we do not know when it comes to the Voter ID Amendment. 

The Space to Create

You may remember a few days ago I shared an open letter to the Great Pumpkin. I asked for many things in that letter, but the final item on my list was the space to create. Before I go any further, I know many of you are skeptical of the Great Pumpkin. I understand, but hear me out. The past two days have been filled with so many opportunities to create. I have been to six local fabric shops, finished two Christmas presents, sewed through my finger giving me the space to creatively try to bandage it and worked on a tote with vingage hedgehog fabric. I know this may just seem like luck or procrastination, but I am not done believing. The real test will come the evening of November 6th.

I also had the opportunity to restock my earrings and pins. There was some talk about selling them on Etsy but I truly do not think I have the time and energy to keep an Etsy store alive. It takes money, patience and dedication. I have one of those things, but it needs to be shared between work and school. I do have seventy-five pairs of earrings and pins that are still looking for a new home. I can easily accept payment via Pay-Pal, which has an incredibly user friendly iPhone app.

If you are interested please let me know. I can also look through my stash if you are looking for a certain color or print. Both earrings and pins come on a small gift tag with purple or pink stamped bunting and a small fabric tail. I have small craft paper bags which can easily pass as gift wrapping.

Sweetest Day

Sweetest Day is not just another Valentine's Day but one day set aside to celebrate those who make your life special. Heart Birch Kingston, the founder of Sweetest Day, looked to give cheer and happiness to those who were often forgotten, including orphans, shut-ins, and the sick. This year I celebrate those who have been a constant presence in my own life, including those who I often forget to thank.

Fun Sweetest Day Fact: In 1922, The Sweetest Day in The Year Committee distributed over 20,000 boxes of candy to "newsboys, orphans, old folks, and the poor" in Chicago, Illinois. 

Sources:
Sweetest Day
Sweetest Day History and Origins 

Vulnerability in our own lives

I was vulnerable last week. I was scared. I was afraid. I was taking a risk. I was uncertain. I was emotionally exposed. I was vulnerable.

This moment of vulnerability came just hours before hearing  Brown’s presentation entitled, “The Courage to Be Vulnerable in Life, Love and Parenting.” She shared towards the beginning, “I don’t do feelings. I go straight to pissed off.” I don’t do feelings either; therefore, making these deep moments of vulnerability even more difficult. I struggle with being an extrovert in a place that has taken a long time to feel like home. I need to understand that to be alive is to be vulnerable. To be in relationship with others is to be vulnerable. To be human is to be vulnerable. And these are things I want to be -- alive, in relationship with others, and human.

Interestingly enough, the first thing we look for in other people is authenticity, but it is the last thing we are willing to expose. This may not necessarily be how I want to live, but I live in the fear that, “if you know me you can hurt me. If you see me, you may see something you won’t like.” I live in this fictional reality that people may not want to hear my story, but it could be the reality that Brené articulated -- "We share our stories with people who can bear the weight of our stories. We do not want to waste time."

The opposite side of this all is to be human is to be in community with others. Since we are hardwired for connection, when community and connection is absent, we suffer.

The difficulity is knowing when we have found individuals that have earned the right to hear our stories. We must remember that in the smallest of small moments of connection trust is established and developed. These moments can be as simple as a text that says, “What can I do to make things better” or someone remembering an intimate, yet simple, part of your story.

I am not saying that Brené made me want to be more vulnerability, but she did force me to wonder what would it mean if faith communities became places of vulnerability  I'll expose my thoughts on that in the upcoming days.

I am extremely grateful for Brené's research and how she presents the truth on vulnerability. I am not weak because I am vulnerable nor does my vulnerability make me unworthy. I need to be in community with others; therefore, it is only nature that these moments of vulnerability must be part of my life. As much as I want to hide from this all, I am going to continue to be scared, afraid, risky, uncertain, and emotional exposed, because I will continue to be vulnerable. 

The Great Pumpkin

Dear Great Pumpkin,

I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents. Incase you were having trouble deciding what to bring, I've included this short list with with explanation --

A glimpse of a raining and cold morning at Minnetonka Orchards.

Six short days after your arrival, the people of Minnesota, and across the country, have some big decisions to make; decisions that have the ability to create a greater disconnect between my brothers and sisters. I stand in the complexity of being both hopeful and fearful of what is to come. As a straight, white, educated female, I've never had to face the reality of what it would be like not to have my love between my partner and I recognized by the state or being turned away at the polls when I arrived ready to have my voice heard. The big gulp in my stomach is enough for me to know this is not right. So, Great Pumpkin, I ask that you challenge my brothers and sisters to see the imageo dei in one another. Because as we look to our neighbor as less than being created in the image of God, we, at that very moment, begin to reduce a redeeming and loving God who has created us all in God's very image. And may I, and my friends, continue to be challenged to have these hard conversations.

Great Pumpkin, I sometimes call myself a reverse storyteller. I do tell my story from time to time, but I've found great joy in listening to the stories of others, so it is with deep saddness that I report that many of the stories I have heard recently come with deep saddness and frustration. I wish I had the ability and power to change the emotion of those closest to me, but I understand that that is out of my power. May they be surrounded with healing and comfort as they continue to struggle and discern. And may I continue to be both aware and present in their lives.

And lastly, Great Pumpkin, if you could give me space to create I would greatly appreciated it. I do not mean a full-time studio with a new complete set of acrylics, although I would not refuse that gift, I mean finding time in my life to create. I sat down the other day to create only to find myself frustrated knowing these moments have become scattered and rare. Please challenge me to take time to create and explore with many different medias. 

Great Pumpkin, I understand that you must get discouraged because more people believe in Santa Claus than in you. Well, let's face it; Santa Claus has more publicity, but being #2, perhaps you try harder.

Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you.

Hearts and Stars,

Sandy K.

P.S. If you really are a fake, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Direct quotes are in Italics and taken from Charles Schultz's It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Vote No! Baby!

As it is getting harder and harder to understand why people want to limit the freedom to love and vote in Minnesota, I am grateful for Nathan and his creativity in being a public witness in the world.  

P.S. The wedding scene is filmed in one of the communities I have the great opportunity to explore, create and discern with.

Pause but don't stop

I had the experience to hear Brené Brown speak through the Faith and Life Lecture Series last night. I had placed this date in my Erin Condren Life Planner months ago. Each week when we went through the calendar during staff meeting, I would pause and get a little more excited that this date was getting even closer. 

Of, course, Brené's lecture was truthful, sincere and hilarious. I'll get to that another day.

But more importantly --

Immediately following her presentation I ran out the door. My best friend had called during the lecture and I had the weight of lengthy assignment on my shoulders. I did think for a couple moments that I wish I would have stayed to have my ten second moment with Brené as she signed a copy of her new book, Daring Greatly, but I knew I had to go.

While on the phone with my best friend, I began rationalizing not staying back. Some of the reasons being:

• I already have a signed copy of Clinton Kelly's, Freakin' Fabulous.
• I need to go work on my assignment.
• I am not brave enough.
• I don't have cash to purchase a book, even tough I realized I could have her sign something else like the program for the night, my iPad, Religious Education Encounters Liberation Theology, or my arm.
• I made a commitment to purchase all books that were not for school digitally.

My best friend helped me to discern the future and together we decided I needed to go back. It is helpful to know that we are both peer processors and rationalizers.

I climbed up the stairs and slowly made my way to the book table to see that I could purchase a copy with a credit card. It was a small victory. I then began digging through my over sized Timbuk2 bag for my wallet. I began to panic, it was not there. But after removing my laptop, iPad, seven books, my life planner and a handful of chargers, I discovered my wallet. I approached the table and payed for my books. I then found my place in line; the very end of very long line.

And now I started to panic. What in the world will I say to Brené Brown. Maybe I don't say anything. I bet I could mutter out 'Hi.' Would it be ridiculous for me to share that I want to be her? Awkward for me to divulge the parallels of our two lives? Could I be honest and say that it may not be your work on vulnerability that has spoken to me as much as your vocation?

My coward soul decided on these words, 'thank you for your presentation.' 

It was now my turn to approach the small table that on the one side stood me and the other side sat Brené. And like I had time to rehearse for the past hour, I took a deep breathe and said 'thank you.' I can only assume that these words came out with a level  of excitement that I only reserve for special occasions and places like Christmas morning and entering the main gates for the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World.

I assumed that would be all, but Brené stared at me for what seemed like hours. I took this as she had crated the space for me let it all out. It was probably more of her wanting to know who this book was to be addressed  to.

But I ignored that piece and let it all out. I think I made an attempt to articulate that I am grateful for what she is doing in the field. I shared that when people ask me what I want to do when I grow up, I say that I want to study embrace. I want to sit and listen to the stories of people's lives. She thenvsaid something along the lines of how is that working. I took a deep breath, followed by an eye roll.

She then said these words.

"Listen. There's something about you. I'm thinking good things about you. You pause for the skeptics, but don't stop."

Now that I have Brené Brown's approval to study embrace, I'm off.

My Life as a None

I could be a none. I have thought about it many times over the last eight years or so as I began studying theology in two unique academic institutions. There have been times that it seems like the right decision.  The most recent trends that show a rise in nones makes all the more sense why I could and should be a none. 

I have been apprehensive of organized religion and religion overall. I have sat in awe listening to older generations tell their faith story without articulating moments of doubt or roadblocks in terms of their commitment to God and the church. I have been suspicious listening to call stories of friends and colleagues. I wondered when I am going to experience this great emotional experience of being called. 

I have thought I would prefer to spend my Sunday mornings brunching with new friends well into early afternoon then sitting in worship dealing with my doubts and questions. My lay ministry position allows me one to two Sundays off a month. What if the days of ever setting an alarms on Saturday evenings were over?

It seems easier for my authority to be in more tangible things. And why not give up the call to live in but not off the world. I’ve been honest that both when my father was diagnosed with cancer and I had some medical issues my faith was in advancements in medicine, not God. I even became frustrated as people began to surround me with prayer and empty promises. 

I think I have found myself glamorizing the life of nones. 

Maybe, just maybe, I am jealous. I often wonder if living my life as a none would be easier than living my life as a Christian.

To get a better grasp on what is none, let’s turn to a new study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life released on October 9th, 2012. The Pew Forum discovered that no religion is quickly becoming the fastest growing religion in America. A none is a person that claims no religious affiliation. To put this into perspective, fifty years ago in the 1960’s, two in three Americans claimed to be Protestant. Today, 48% of Americans considered themselves Protestant, 22% Catholic, and 20% of Americans consider themselves nones. That is one in five Americas claim no religious affiliation at all. 

The reality among nones is that only 10% of them are looking for religion that would be right for them. 88% shared that they were simply not interested. Among my peers, older millennials, 30% are considered nones. 

The question I ask myself why not be a none? If asked today, could I leave it all behind.

It’s become apparent that in the lives of young people there are other places to discuss issues like religion and morality. The role of community has become part of workplaces and social clubs. And the need to work of behalf of peace and justice is not just the work of the church.

The truth is, as I continue to reflect, I am not ready to give it up, nor can I imagine ever being ready.

As I have these moments of extreme doubt and questioning, I am surrounded by a community of peers, friends, mentors that say, ‘Wait, me, too.’ As I share my faith in modern medicine, they say, again, ‘me, too.’ And when I selfishly share that I struggle to get out of bed on Sunday morning, they say, ‘that’s normal.’

My difficulty is how do I make a case to nones to give religion another chance. Are they going to become suspicious as I share my glimpses of the beloved community that come at the most unexpected time? Will they poke fun of my deep passion to expose the imago dei in all people? And will they believe me when I say that I often find myself in a place of deep doubt and even larger questioning, but I have found a community that allows for me to expose that?

I have no idea. 

I really don’t.

I hope as I continue to be transparent about my struggle to close the gap between secular and sacred that I can become a visible witness to the role of the Holy Spirit creatively working in our world today. I hope that a need for explanation and understanding welcomes conversation and expression. As I sit in fear of the role of religion in America, I have hope that this is not the beginning of the end. 

Most importantly, I have to retract my first sentence -- I cannot be a none. 

My Sins Are All I Have

“Sister, I won’t ask for forgiveness; my sins are all I have.”^[1]

And she said to him, “I want the last face you see in this world to be the face of love, so you look at me when they do this thing. I’ll be the face of love for you.”^[2] And there she sat, like promised, being the face of love for Matthew Poncelet. Sister Helen Prejean watched the injection reach Poncelet’s lungs, then his heart, until the only emotion left on Poncelet’s face was death.

Dead Man Walking takes us through the last days, hours and minutes of the life of Matthew Poncelet. Poncelet, convicted of murder, found himself on death row, yet even till the day of execution, he wished to perform a lie detector test “so [his] momma knows [he] didn’t do this.”

During the film, Poncelet is accompanied by Sister Helen Prejean. Their relationship began through letters, but Prejean then agreed to visit Poncelet on death row. It was through this relationship that Prejean discovers the inequality of the judicial system occurring in Louisiana during the 1990’s. She is then willing and determined to find Poncelet fair representation in hopes that he obtains reprieve.

As Poncelet is being referred to “white trash” and God’s mistake” from the victim’s parents, Prejean is able to see Poncelet as something more, human. She has the follow interaction with one of the victim’s fathers:

Clyde Percy: How can you stand next to him?

Sister Helen Prejean: Mr. Percy, I’m just trying to following the example of Jesus, who said that a person is not as bad as his worst dead.

Clyde Percy: This is not a person. This is an animal.

Prejean sees Poncelet as who he is: human. In the same way, as the film goes on, Poncelet begins to see Prejean as human. He begins to intertwine human emotion into the relationship with the nun he once only knew through letters.

As Poncelet and Prejean begin to create identity in one another, they begin to establish and accept that one another is human. It is because of the very nature that one is human that they are not perfect. It is also the very nature that one is human that interaction with God can, and will, occur.^[3]

Although the tone in Poncelet voice makes us wonder the sarcastic nature of his comment, he speaks out saying,  “I never had so many people caring about me this much.” It is easy to question, like the victim’s parents, why must one give this care to an individual that has been accused for murder and rape. Is death the solution to the crime? The question can also be asked to the solution given by Chaplain Farley, ‘save him by having him receive the sacraments of the church.’ As the other becomes present in Poncelet’s life, this question continues to be asked.

Mirslav Volf’s, Free of Charge allows one to begin to define the rule of God, the individual and the other in the midst of Dead Meaning Walking. Volf makes clear that society often identifies with false realities of God. This may be as God the negotiator or God: the Santa Clause. Both of these identities limit the relationship of God as the “infinitely generous source of all good” and the fact that humanity is created in God’s image.^[4]  Poncelet, himself, interacts with God the Santa Clause. In his  last days of his life, he turns to scripture saying, “It's quiet. Only three days left. Plenty of time to read my Bible and look for a loophole.” If the concern is only to find a loophole, God has been limited.

To think of both of Prejean and Poncelet as both being created in God’s image allows one to understand that being human means being God “in true righteousness and holiness.”^[5] Yet understanding one’s self still needs to be defined and understand. Volk engages the reader to think in-terms of old self and new self. It is the new self that one is with Christ. Through this encounter one must take off the old and clothe themselves with the new.^[6] Dead Man Walking symbolically shows this as Prejean marries the church and takes her vow of poverty, chastity and obedience.

It is also through this new self that one gives. “We don’t give mainly because God or God’s messengers command us to. If we did, we should be giving under compulsion, and therefore, reluctantly. Instead, one give because they are givers because Christ living in us is a giver.^[7] One’s very nature to be a giver also coincides with humanity being sinful. Therefore, it is necessary for God the creator to also be God the redeemer. As the giver, God continues to give. God’s giving is not limed. For if we understand that God would stop given, there would be no need for humanity to exist.^[8]

God is not an aimless giver. God “aims to create human givers and, after they have fallen into sin, to redeem them and finally, to glorify them in perfect community with God and one another.”^[9] The understanding of God given in order to create human givers is seen through Prejean. Volf proclaims that our current culture in not a forgiving culture. If there is no need for forgiveness, there is no need for the giver.^[10] The shift comes with beginning to understand what is unique of Prejean’s situation that gives her both the ability to give and forgive.

The role of being in community with God and one another is present in the live of Prejean. Poncelet and Prejean’s life situations are unique to one another. Poncelet sits on death row, while living in solitary confident. His community is prisoner guards that see their actions as “part of the job.” As Prejean visits the home of his mother and Poncelet spends some last moments with his family, we see family dynamics of a single mother with four children. As montages of Prejean’s past are intertwined throughout the movie, she is surrounded by others from an early age. Family and friends are present when she made her vows. There is also the assumption that the sisterhood will provide community for Prejean.  And as she returns from prison, Prejean is accompanied each evening by a close friend. Young neighboring children surrounded Prejean. When she returns from Poncelet’s injection and funeral, the power of community surrounds Prejean with art work from the children.

The very nature of what it means to be in community creates the very space for one to experience both God as the giver and God the redeemer. Part of responding to God’s forgiveness is by passing that forgiveness on to others. One’s failure to forgive undoes God’s forgiveness.^[11]It begs the question can one forgive in solitude and without appropriate community. In the title track to the movie, Bruce Springsteen’s sings, “Sister I won't ask for forgiveness/ My sins are all I have/” It is the acceptance of the reality that community is not existent. If the crime and current situation is the community, one cannot experience the giving nature of God and also the redemptive power of God. It is not until Poncelet begins to experience community that he can begin to forgive.

The transformative of the experience of community comes alive as Poncelet looks to Prejean and says, “Thank you for loving me.” The love that is alive in community, yet an emotion that has been distant and nonexistent in his life, is present. As Poncelet lays on the table, being prepped for death, he turns to those present and asks for forgiveness. This is the truth that Prejean and the victim’s families have been waiting for. Volf puts word’s to this scene. He writes,  “The scandalousness of God’s indiscriminate forgives hits us even harder when we are called on to imitate it.”^[12] Here the communion of God comes alive in scandal. The scandal is the death of Poncelet. Yet for the first time Poncelet has imitated that forgiveness that has been given to him by God and Prejean.

Poncelet now has more than his sins. He has community.  The very nature of community allows Poncelet to be the giver and the forgiver that God has proclaimed him to be.

---

^[1] Springsteen, Bruce. "Dead Man Walkin'" Rec. 9 Jan. 1996. Music From And Inspired By The Motion Picture Dead Man Walking. Columbia. CD.

^[2] Dead Man Walking. Dir. Tim Robbins. By Tim Robbins and Helen Prejean. Perf. Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, and Robert Prosky. MGM, 1995.

^[3] Volf, Miroslav. Free of charge: giving and forgiving in a culture stripped of grace. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 2005, 25.

^[4] Ibid., 27.

^[5] Ibid., 24.

^[6] Ibid., 59.

^[7] Ibid., 66.

^[8] Ibid., 35-6.

^[9] Ibid., 70.

^[10] Ibid., 211.

^[11] Ibid., 125.

^[12] Ibid., 178. 

I Did It!

I have a certain fear of libraries, especially the book stacks at Luther Seminary. It could be too many years of being hushed every time I was in the library with friends, or it could be the fact that every time I checkout a library book I end up with a large fine.

I'm not sure what it is but I feel like I whole new person this semester. I spend hours a week at the county library, which has lime green accents and a coffee shop. I also went into the book stacks at Luther Seminary for the first time the other day. I even made it all the way to the eighth floor al by myself.

And the biggest accomplishment of them all, I checked out my first book from the seminary library. It is not due back until April giving me plenty of time to lose it and rack up a fine.

What is the book that got me in the library?

Betwixt and Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation

I'm currently taking a course that is looking at the rites of Christian Initiation. I've been fascinated with the parallels I see between Christian initiation in the early church and that of sororities and fraternities.

Tie-Dye Saturday

I may have just remembered I had tie-dye in my car from last Saturday, which then lead me to remember I had some snapshots of our Tie-Dye Saturday to share.

Tie-Dye Saturday is a Collaborative Children, Youth and Family Ministry Event. For two hours on a Saturday morning we had dye, rubber bands, gloves, and tie-dye professionals at the hands of our communities. We asked dyers to bring something they wanted to tie-dye.

Same Love

A deep theological message of imago dei is present throughout this video and rings true to the line, 'no freedom until we are equal.' Towards the end of the video the words, 'love is patient, love is kind' are repeated over and over again.' It's beautiful. The whole video is a beautiful story. And I continue to be hopeful that Minnesota will become a more beautiful place this November when Minnesotans vote no to limit the freedom of marriage.

How can you help defeat the marriage amendment?

Check out the volunteer needs page at Minnesotans United for All Families.

Have the conversation with your friends and family on why you are voting no on Novmeber 6th.

Here are some helpful ways to have that conversation. -- Let Your Friends Know

Financially support organizations like Minnesotans United for All Families by going here. 

Shaping Communities by Dorothy Bass

I found this post via St. Lydia's: A Dinner Church located in Brooklyn, New York while looking for something to share for staff devotions at Our Saviour's Lutheran Church. It is a perfect glimpse in to how we look to compicate and program community without asking the question is "this "done for building up" the community?"

The perennial Christian strategy, someone has said, is to gather the folks, break the bread, and tell the stories. It is as simple, and as disarming, as that. But within that simplicity lie complex questions. What shape ought the gathering to take? Do some sit in carefully designated spaces and the rest elsewhere? And who breaks the bread? Do all, or only some? For that matter, who tells the stories? Do all take a turn, or do people speak as the Spirit prompts? Are some interpretations and interpreters more authoritative than others?  On what grounds? The apostle Paul, teacher of community, urged the Corinthians to judge all bread breaking and storytelling and congregating by whether it was “done for building up” the community. But that was not sufficient to answer all the questions in this fledgling church. Should prophets speak in tongues if no interpreters were present? Should women speak? Must all who speak acknowledge the authority of Paul? (1 Corinthians 14:26-40). 

Apparently, the program of gathering the folks, breaking the bread, and telling the stories is more complicated than it first seems. There are varieties of gifts, different roles, real tensions, significant conflicts. The ordering of community can give shape to the gifts of its members and provide space for the successful negotiating of conflict. The lack of good ordering can prevent gifts from being shared and allow tensions to fester. The shaping of communities is the practice by which we agree to be reliable personally and organizationally. This practice takes on life through roles and rituals, laws and agreements—indeed, through the whole assortment of shared commitments and institutional arrangements that order common life. 

In one sense, then, shaping communities is not just a single practice of its own. It is the practice that provides the choreography for all the other practices of a community or society. 

-Read the rest of the article here. 

Twenty-Something

You may not need to read anymore books on emerging adults, young adults or mosaics. Brian Lowdermilk and Kait Kerrigan have summed-up all the research in less than five minutes.

The song Twenty-Something is from a musical Brian and Kait wrote called Tales from the Bad Years. The Synopsis for the show is -- 

Tales from the Bad Years is a series of short, self-contained stories in the form of songs and musical scenes from those years when you’re waiting for something big to happen but it never does. From the first time you try to make the Thanksgiving turkey and screw it up, to the moment when you realize your childhood is over, these stories are about youth, determination, and unexpected love. They capture the frustration of wanting to get away from the lot you chose, letting go of your first love, and a party to end all parties. These are the songs you wish someone sang to you, the anecdotes you love hearing again and again, and the moments of epiphany that every person has. The bad years make the best stories.

You can stream Tales from the Bad Years here, and I challenge you to look for the themes of emerging adulthood that are found throughout the show.

She Wants To See The Mailroom

Today I got to share one of my top something-ish youth ministry stories. It's rather quite simple, yet it continues to be a  testimony to living out our vocation in our everyday lives --

In 2010, I traveled from Fergus Falls, Minnesota to Chicago, Illinois with a group of students. The first part of our week was spent with an organization called YouthWorks! We spent our nights sleeping under church pews and our days at children's programs and a small, urban church in the South-side. After our program time with YouthWorks! was over, we planned to spend an extra couple days in the city. The first thing on our agenda was a tour of Churchwide, the headquarters of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.

I was both excited and proud to take my students to an office building. It was even on this day that I had decided that we were to wear our matching team t-shirts.

Check-out the happy camper on the right, my father.

When we arrived at Churchwide we were sent up on the elevator to find our tour guide. She greeted us with a welcome and spent some time doing introductions with our group and explaining a little bit about the structure and vision of the ELCA. She then lead us through the different offices explaining how these unique departments connect to the larger vision of the church. In each department we were greeted by friendly faces and candy dishes.

It was towards the end of our tour when our guide asked us if there was anything else we wanted to see. Earlier that morning, well trying to get the students level of excitement to match mine, Morgan asked if we were going to see the mailroom. She was imaging the scene from Elf in which Buddy is let lose in the mailroom.

When we were posed with the question is there anything else we wanted to see, we all giggled and looked at Morgan. And I believe the words, 'She wants to see the mailroom' were spoken. Our guide looked puzzled and said, 'I don't think that has ever been a request before.' And without judgement, we are piled into the elevator and were on our way to the mailroom.

Once there we were introduced to one of the workers who seemed both excited and surprised to see us. She shared a little bit about herself, how the mailroom works and how her job is part of the larger vision of the church. But our time in the mailroom did not end there. We were soon guided through the mailroom with a level of enthusiasm that we did not experience in any other department.

Learning about a new piece of equipment and the role it plays in preparing publications.

It was remarkable to see and experience this trip to the mailroom with my team. It was a simple curiosity that brought us to this part of Churchwide, but for many this was the highlight of our tour. We all noted her enthusiasm and it forced us to dwell in the question of what does it mean to be a participant in the work of the church, as well as what does it mean to be called to live out our vocation? The language may have been different, but those questions were present.

Today, when I got to share this story once more, I was excited. We see the church so broad or so small. We see it as the rostered leaders or the whole community. Whatever our way, we must continue to be reminded of this church that is so large. But not too large that we forget to see the individuals who are living out their identity in Christ everyday. So, thank you, to the mailroom employee that challenged us to be doing God's work in the world.

The Brightest Room in the Building

When I was a wee little one I lived in a room that was orange and yellow. The bottom of the room was orange and the top of the room was yellow. The yellow and orange were separated by a white chair rail. I never really liked either color, and I blame my parent's design choice. The other weekend, the Youth Room at Our Saviour's got a make-over. I have to admit, yellow doesn't make me cringe anymore.